pain is good

Lessons through pain can be very effective– very quick.  Especially if you have the right awareness and say THANK YOU.

I got my feelings hurt this morning.  By my boss.  The story is too long and too boring and too trivial to relate in writing.  It’s a minor thing.  He mocked me as being hysterical.  And it really hurt.  I realized, oh, that must be how he sees me or a problem i present, as “here’s a big problem” and I’m hysterical.  I mean, from his perception as the boss and person in authority, he is the problem-solver.  Is that it?  Without going any deeper into trying to second-guess his perception, just the realization, ‘oh, that must be how he sees me’ was very sobering and very painful.  Pain is good.

I love myself enough to take a good look.  This little tap dance i do for him every morning, i do what i think is expected of me, i behave in a way that i think is required.  Well, it’s all baloney  The gig is up.  He sees right through it and I’m tired of performing and we’re both tired of the game.

Very sobering.

These layers are coming off.

Last week it was releasing my relationship with my sister and in that process giving up being a little sister.

This week I’m giving up being a pleaser.  (yet again:  I thought I’d already given that up but boy is that ingrained over many lifetimes, let alone this one!)  I’m giving up being the dutiful employee.  Words fail me.



A Third Option

There is always a third option.  We tend to think in extremes and either/or, yes or no, but there is always a third option.  Look for it.

Today i climbed stairs for a little aerobic activity.  I climbed 6 flights and was winded.  I wanted to quit.  Quit? i asked myself and take the easy way out, or do it again and do the hard, rewarding thing?  I met myself halfway:  i climbed 3 more flights for a total of 200 steps.  The third option.  I got to win.

“In every struggle, there is a victory.” Helen Keller


Today I Win

Under the heading “living with anxiety,” today I am out of sorts i like to say.  But today, I have faith that I am protected, I am on track, I am loved, and I am connected.  I trust it even though i can’t feel it as much as I trust the sun is there even when i cannot see it.

Today, i will get fresh air.  I will eat right.  I will walk.  I will meditate.  Even if I don’t feel like it.  Today I will trust God.

Every struggle is a victory.  Today I win.



Don’t Read This Article

  • i liked this and learned that avoiding doing things because we are afraid of feeling pain or failure doesn’t help us to avoid feeling pain or failure.  We feel cowardly, stress from procrastination, miserable in a relationship that should have been ended long ago…. Avoiding the thing because we’re afraid of pain, doesn’t result in  less pain.  ah-ha moment.
Must Read on Pocket

This is one of the most-saved, read, and shared stories on Pocket.

Start from Today

I’ve been in a funk with very low productivity.  Goals?  What goals?  Finding my socks was about as ambitious as I could be.  Where are my socks? Oh, on top of the dryer because I didn’t have the energy to fold the clothes and put them away.  But, hey, they’re clean!  Yay me. That’s the way it’s been for I don’t even know how long because when you get in a downspin like that, one doesn’t really blog about it or keep track.

Here’s the good news.  It’s a new day.  Energy has returned; things are looking up.  I found myself feeling disappointed in myself and regretting what I DIDN’T do– the wasted time, the failed opportunities and I was thinking, oh why even bother, I’m never going to get this done.

Then I read this in the World Tribune:

What is the distinguishing feature of youth?

Youth is not a matter of chronological age. I believe that from the perspective of faith, all whose lives right now are filled with fresh determination are youthful champions of the Mystic Law.

What matters is not how your situation was last year, or even just yesterday, but how you will challenge yourself, how you will advance and triumph from this year, from today. This is the spirit of the Buddhism of true cause.[1]

Reaffirming this principle that everything starts from now, let’s begin each day with a fresh, renewed spirit.   Daisaku Ikeda

Eileen Caddy today

I have a book by Eileen Caddy, co-founder of the Findhorn Community.  If you don’t know what the Findhorn Community is, Google it– you’re in for a treat.


I felt led to share what I read today in her book, “God Spoke to Me.”

You cannot see yourself reflected within a turbulent pool but when that water has been stilled and becomes like a mirror, you can see the reflection of yourself perfectly.

A state of serenity

Seek deep within and find that peace which passes understanding.  Remain in that state of consciousness so that nothing outward can touch or ruffle your serenity, for it is when you are in this state that I can work in and through you.  You cannot see yourself reflected within a turbulent pool but when that water has been stilled and becomes like a mirror, you can see the reflection of yourself perfectly.  Still your soul until you reflect nothing but the perfect– My love, My light, My wisdom.  In this state of consciousness, you can be used to radiate those attributes to your fellow human beings.

You have started on this path.  Know that practice makes perfect; be patient, be persistent, persevere.  Without constant practice you cannot hope to achieve.  No pianist, singer or artist ever reached the pinnacle of perfection without hours of practice, without repetition.

It would be useless to remain wrapped in cotton wool all your life.  You need a loving and understanding heart and this you find by weathering the rough with the smooth, by experiencing life at its heights and in its depths.  Unless you have experienced, how can you hope to understand deeply?  No lessons need be abortive all have a place in the overall pattern and plan.

Step by step, tread this path with love in your heart and perfection as your aim.  Know that you will achieve and rejoice in that knowing.

One Light

I have two table lamps on my desk at work– one in each corner.  One light bulb burned out this morning. So now there is only one light.  It changes the mood of the room.  That corner is dark.  The room is out of balance.

Now I have to make the probably trite observation of how important each little light is.  Don’t let your light go out.  Know how important your light is.Each light is important.




Teenage mothers give birth to teenage mothers

Teenage mothers give birth to teenage mothers who give birth to teenage mothers who give birth to teenage mothers.

The under-30 Vice President of Research that I worked for in California had dinner often with his parents who entertained CEO’s of major corporations.  He started and sold his own company by the age of 35.

I met a Jewish lady at a party in a wealthy Chicago neighborhood once and she told me about her son who had an idea for a new yogurt product, started a factory, and began to manufacture yogurt.  “How do you start a factory? Or how did he know how to start a factory?”  She looked puzzled at the question and said something, well, you just lease a space, install the equipment and hire staff.  She said it like she was explaining how to bake a lemon pie—like it was the easiest thing in the world and didn’t everybody know how to do that?

Russell Simmons, the hip-hop record producer billionaire, told Norman Lear he was grateful to George Jefferson of the Jefferson’s.  There was an episode where George pulls out his checkbook and writes a check at the kitchen table.  Russell Simmons had never seen a black man write a check.  He didn’t know that was possible.



You and I are limited by our experience and our awareness and expectations and what we know.  We’re limited by how far our parents got on the economic ladder.  We just need to be aware of our limitations—know that we don’t know.

How do we wake up if we don’t know we are asleep?

i’ll attempt to answer that but i’d love to get feedback from readers.

1.Faith that anything is possible
2.Responsibility– once we break free of the cycle of blame (consciously and unconsciously) and take full responsibility for all of our actions and circumstances, no matter what, we begin.
3. Forgiveness, of course.  Stop blaming folks and OURSELVES for past mistakes and move forward.
4. As if… those exercises in Ask and It Is Given are pretty good for getting the experience of being who we want and having.
ok:  your turn:





No Complaints

Complaining is really important.  I don’t care how much meditation, prayer, chanting, self-talk, reading, exercising, (name spiritual/wellness practice here). you do, there’s nothing like a good rant to clear the soul.

There’s that anger studio in Minot, ND where men who’ve been laid off from the evil oil industry get to come and smash things.  It was so popular that the wives said, hey, what about us?  and they opened up special sessions for wives (spouses).

there’s an article about complaining written by someone more clever than I.

i accuse co-workers of being gossipy and catty and THEY ARE.  But, i indulged myself recently in a catty remark about a co-worker and I felt so much better afterwards.

it’s just human nature, I guess.  mean girls.